Some Travel Required & Making Her Wet
Friday, February 6th, 2004Howdy gang,
Ever wonder how things happen in your life? Why you are where you are today? Happenstance. Sure, you try to prepare yourself for opportunity when it arises, and yes, you attempt to guide your little raft down the sea of days in some kind of uniform fashion, but then forces outside of your control move you to a new place, where things aren’t so familiar.
I mention this because of my new role as a perpetual nomad, travelling ot our Washington DC office 2 days a week for the next month or so. An opportunity to travel, meet new people, and maybe have a few flings.
Ironically, this comes into my life when I’m in a crisis of both time and people. I pick up my phone to a “Hi, it’s me” and have to figure out if it’s one of three women, or just the Russian Bride Service calling to harrass me again about their damn international travel vacations.
Who are these guys who go on these trips? Are they that hard up that in all of North America they can’t find One Female to hang out with? It’s hard being single, no doubt - but . . . Russia?
On a ’single celebratory’ note, I sat at home this year and watched the Superbowl alone. I have to say I’ve never enjoyed a game more than that night. I could use the bathroom whenever the thought occurred to me, grab any snack at any given moment, and hang out in my PJs the entire time.
Gone were the “What’s a delay of game penalty?” or the “How come they keep blitzing the quarterback?” questions from females who would proceed to argue which tight end’s tight end was ‘cuter’.
Gone, too were the “I hate that guy.. He’s an idiot!” shouted muses of my fellow man during The Game to End All Games.
Trust me, there’s nothing worse than 4 drunk guys arguing/shouting whether Joe Namath, Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, or Jim McMahon would win out in a side-by-side shootout.
No, it was quiet, save for the 6-speaker surround sound system, and the crackles from a fire that stayed just warm enough to keep Jimmy happy.
We Can Work it out
Lately I’m getting stares at the Rec Center during my workout from attractive females. I hope it’s as a result of the hard work, and not the blighted moanings of a guy lifting 40 more pounds then he should.
Tomorrow is the fortieth anniversary of the Beatles first performance on the Ed Sullivan show. It’s hard to believe that forty years ago, my mother in pent up teen angst kissed the TV screen whilst madly in love with George Harrison. Forty years? That’s all?
If it makes her wet….
I read a survey on female sensuality and found that the strangest things make women excited:
-Guys doing laundry: Are they naked or something? Kind of adds a whole new meaning to ‘fabric softener’
-Guys holding doors open: If this one’s true, then I’ve been severely short-changed in this life
-Guys working out: See the above entry - I relate on a side-note story that whilst working out one day where I used to live, I was passing a treadmill where a cute thing was running. At the moment I passed the power went out, and I caught her in my arms. Her first words to me? Not, gee thanks, Hi my name is Kelly.. no.. the first words were “I’m married!”
-Guys who talk to them about their day: Okay, this one really has me confused. I think they screwed it up.. It’s probably guys who LISTEN to them blab on about THEIR day.
Women have/create a lot of drama in their day. We men just roll along through it and come home, and honestly don’t have exciting things to share. So, when we say, “Nothing much” in response to the How was your day? question, we’re just being honest. Hope that settles That issue.
By the way, if this isn’t the most hit entry of my blog, perhaps an added blurb about the Super Bowl Halftime Show, and the display of Janet Jackson’s breast might just tune a few more viewers into this, and I quote, “Sorry Excuse for A Website.”
So yes, I do get comments, but I have a magic wand that let’s me delete them. And no, Sarah, it’s not That Magic Wand. 
Have a great weekend everyone,
Jimmy